If it weren’t for Teddy, I would feel pretty much down in the dumps. I’m tired of Unamille, as who wouldn’t be, after having offered a little fun to the world and what do I get back but a lot of old chestnuts–tend times in 2012, pet insurance for your beloved cat or bird to take care of it when you are snatched, a first class cave with a five-year supply of Twinkies, your AK47’s to keep you safe when everybody else is a shooting star. I thought it would be fun for everybody to start spinning a really good Unamille story. I can think up a dozen of them right now, and I’ll share one that somebody else could have dreamed up ,if he or she hadn’t been too lazy to even think.
Here it is: Unamille is the fungal web that holds the world together, keeps it in one round piece whirling about the sun, under the grass, under the rocks and sand, under the mighty ocean, holding it all together, its remarkable ( I could say miraculous) marking of the world celebrations like Christmas or Ramadan or whatever with its clouds of spores during is many fruiting seasons telling us always that it and we are one.
So okay, What do you think of that? It’s not so hard, is it?
I spent half the day brooding about this. Betsy and Jim have gone o Windsor to cheer Fiona on at her events–and she is currently a winner in hurdles, triple jump and Pole vault. They have left me alone here to mull over my big disappointment, and I finally settled down for a look at the New Yorker when Teddy came in by my feet, breathing heavily and sadly. I could tell something was up with him. He has never learned to speak English, which I think is a real pity because it would e so much easier for u to communicate. After all, Teddy is almost a brother. Dog age and person age, I understand we’re about the same. He laid himself down cozily on my bare feet. His black curly hair is like silk. I may not have mentioned that Teddy is mainly a Gordon Setter with all the important points. He is very, very friendly, but he is never rude. He does not jump on anyone, but rather collapses at the feet of visitors and then lifts his head in what I could call the most winsome and slightly pathetic smile. Everyone loves Teddy.
But there is something of a problem. The other members of the family, Betsy, Jim, Jack and Fiona all admire him for his fine qualities but don’t credit him with the intelligence that I believe he possesses. Teddy yearns for mental stimulation and I can take credit for giving it to him. As I mentioned, he was lying on my feet, but he was not asleep and he was not greedy for hugs and kisses. He had a plan. I suspected that something was afoot, but I was busy reading the table of contents in the New Yorker. Finally, I looked up and Teddy, clearly waiting for some sign from me, jumped to his feet, quivered with excitement and led out into the kitchen where he keeps his dish. The dish was empty. Oh dear, I said, I guess nobody fed you, did they. Very possible since the grown-ups were concentrating on an hour’s drive to the track meet instead of enjoying a placid half hour before dinner with a glass of wine.
It’s all right I said. But he had already fled deep into the living room and he watched me closely. I poured the food in his dish and said calmly, Come Teddy.He did not come, and he did not come again. I Finally I said, Okay, have it your way. I don’t care whether you eat or not.I left him and went back to the New Yorker. But before long there he was, and I realized that we were about to play his little game.
So once again I got up , followed him to the kit and this time performed my proper role. I stood beside his dish on his right. He lay beside his dish to his left. We looked at each other. He pulled his body to the right of his dish. He brought his paws together.I said, Come Teddy, and he lifted his head in a rather serious way. But now I knew what to do. I slid his dish next to his paw. I said again, Come Teddy, eat. Now his look seemed a bit stern. Okay, I said, You win. With my foot I moved his dish to the front of his paws. Still, he kept them together. I leaned over, moved his left paw away from his right paw leaving a space between them. I pushed his dish between his paws. It was the right thing to do. He lifted his head to look at me again, and then bent it down again and quickly ate everything up.
Now wasn’t that smart? Teddy lifted my spirits enough to help me recover from that Unamille let down. He is some dog!
still they remained