CRACKING EGGS STRAIGHT FROM THE BOX

Dateline:  Year of unamille 4,500,000,012

It looks like heavy snow this morning.

An ad on CNN today has convinced me that there’s more hand and heart in human life than beep and buzz; that it appeared on an electronic device doesn’t make the message any less meaningful. The ad explains to us householders that there is another way to make boiled eggs and the old mess of the boiling water, the mystery of the right number of seconds to (cook) really boil the eggs, a process that ends with an incredibly boring and wasteful method of shelling that most normal people apply. Just think of yourself with a dish of eggs waiting to be peeled sitting in front of you on the kitchen counter, and you know what it’s going to be like, shreds of white, yellow ceners rolling tiny balls, shards of shell infecting every possible bite. That the fact that out of half a dozen eggs you are going to get about four halves, when you can, without any effort at all, buy yourself a hard boiled egg boiler that produces beautiful eggs for any hard boiled purpose without a shred of worry on the part of the cook.

It is all so laughably simple. Preheat the oven to the temperature they suggest on the box. It’s probably best to follow this suggestion. You can never be quite sure when something might go wrong. You may find it a tad iffy to crack the egg, but you wil soon get the trick. Lift an egg out of the egg carton carefully and crack it briskly against the edge of the bowl; then stick thumbs on either side of the crack,  pull thumbs apart over the first plastic egg baking globe, watch the newly cracked egg slip gently into the globe. Repeat for all the eggs you are going to cook. I hope you have set the timer, because when it goes off you want to make sure you get the box out quickly. Those egs slide out of their globes as sleek and white as only a perfect egg can be.

I didn’t mean to bore everybody to death with this long description, but it was important to me to to show what has been and what can be accomplished through the use of our own destined hands and brains. Sure Facebook is important but, a virtual face? All these powers of the universe we keep reading about, but don’t forget that we did finally figure them out. (I don’t mean to imply that I figured them out. All that’s a few steps ahead of me, but it doesn’t matter so much when others do the computing and I spend my time building better mousetraps. Because, as you can see, we can use it all.

Meantime the Holy Chickens, also newcomers on the scene, are lounging all over my lap top table because sitting in that chair has become somewhat difficult for me. Dad chicken is spread out across all one end looking quite tired, but the others are gathered together as usual hobnobbing, chewing the fat, schmoozing, all those conversational gambits that give corner hanger-ons so much pleasure, but not at all apr…..priate for the Holy Chickens, virtual representatives of the spheres. Carl has actually come into my room this afternoon. He is such a normal cat, with his rangy, athletic self, his lust for killing; he may not find it particularly inviting. The Chickens, of course, are immortal, and thus not good to eat.  He must want something though and is crouched in a striking position. Perhaps there is a bug over there that I can’t see. Or maybe he just came in to clean up.

Chuck once said there is no wonder that the three great religions started in the desert. He tried to describe the depths of the stars that show down on the tents of the nmads at night. How glorius that must have been, and how necesary to ennoble it even more by the discusions of its purpose.  For to them purpose legitimated the laws of the universe.

We are having yellow split pea soup for supper. I hope everyone is jealous. I haven’t bought the egg baker yet, but if you do, try a little curry with them to bring out the devil.

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About dorothybloom

Well, I'm a bit on the elderly side , but I'm fighting the decline with my entry into the virtual world. I've been thinking for while that my situation is worth talking a, and for this reason. There is a tension between old and new. The old are intent upon keeping their authority and the young are intent on getting it for themselves. hereThis tension is as old as the Neanderthal and many of his four-legged cousins. And I want to explore that.
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4 Responses to CRACKING EGGS STRAIGHT FROM THE BOX

  1. Nancy Bloom says:

    I saw that ad this morning and was astonished too. One of the greatest benefits of the egg boiler is that it cooks the eggs with a flat bottom which makes it much easier to line the little devils on a luncheon tray. Now that’s progress.

  2. Jackson says:

    Grandma,
    I really like this one. I just hope you haven’t given in and bought one of those egg-cookers. I will not eat hardboiled eggs… mostly because of my apparent impediment towards being able to shell and eat them. Also, I think Carl (or Dennis) is a really great cat and I miss him and all the other pets. The people, not as much. See you soon though!

    • dorothybloom says:

      Thanks Jack. I wish you could get a true look at the eggs. It’s almst wrth spending the money just to give you a chance. As fr the animals, well. he cags arn’e woth a ead nickel. Lve Grandma

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